Twelve lessons every Ex-Scientologist needs to learn
1. The world outside Scientology is not a dangerous or degraded or hostile place. You’ll find that on the whole, people are pretty nice, and you’re likely to encounter more kindness, empathy and friendliness – and less judgment – than you did inside Scientology.
2. You have your own ideas and opinions separate from those of L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology. Learn to differentiate. Ask yourself, “is this really what I personally think or believe, or is this just what I was taught in Scientology?” Stop putting everything through a Scientology filter to determine if it is good or bad, true or false. Make your own decisions. And it’s OK to disagree with Hubbard and Scientology.
3. You have the right to privacy and to your own personal space. Your private life, your activities, your lifestyle are your own choice and no one has the right to pry or invade your space or pass judgment. You do not have to reveal or confess everything about your life to anyone. People in general do not care or judge you.
4. Learn to relax and live your life. You don’t have to be “productive” every moment. Take the time to relax, go for long walks, daydream, read a book, hang out with friends and family. You are not on the clock and you don’t have to measure every minute of your life against some arbitrary standard of “production.”
5. Make an effort to overcome any prejudices instilled by Scientology. Gays are not “covertly hostile.” Psychiatrists are not evil. Journalists are not “merchants of chaos.” “Wogs” are not degraded or out-ethics. And they are not “wogs.” Try to re-examine generalities like this and see people and institutions for who they actually are, not what Scientology told you they are.
6. People who disagree with you are not “enemies.” People who challenge your opinions are not “attacking” you. Loosen up. Try to see other viewpoints. Re-examine your own opinions and conclusions. You will never learn anything if you only reactively defend your own position and demonize those who disagree.
7. It’s important to take care of yourself. See a doctor regularly. Get a checkup. See the dentist. Take needed medication. Get over any preconception that doctors, dentists or medicine are bad, scary, invalid, or unnecessary.
8. Emotion is a good thing. It is not a sign of a weak person or a “lesser being.” Emotions are a part of life, and everyone feels them. It is not shameful to feel anger, grief or depression, and it does not make you less of a person. If you try to suppress your so-called “lower” emotions, you may end up being unable to feel anything.
9. Whatever wins you have had, remember that nothing in Scientology has made you superior to others. Get over any sense of superiority or entitlement. Realize that Scientologists have the same hang-ups, problems, foibles, and faults as anyone else. They make the same mistakes and commit the same sins. Scientologists have not reached a “higher state” where they have super powers or are morally or intellectually or spiritually superior to others. Try to see yourself objectively and with humility. Do not approach others with arrogance or condescension.
10. Get over the idea that your life only has meaning if you are “serving a higher purpose.” Just living your life with love, tolerance, kindness and charity is what gives it meaning. If the world is to be improved, it will be through individual acts of kindness, friendship and generosity, not some organized international movement to “save the planet.”
11. You don’t need to follow someone else on your life’s journey. You don’t need a leader or a guru or a “source.” You don’t need an “ism” or “ology.” Get over the idea that Scientology – or anyone for that matter – has all the answers. Broaden your horizons. If you are interested in learning more about the mind and spirit, read or study broadly. You don’t need someone else to define truth for you. You are fully capable of coming up with your own ideas, opinions and conclusions. Blaze your own trail to your own truth.
12. You don’t need to be constantly “fixed” or corrected. You don’t need constant auditing or interviews or therapy to survive. Scientology only exists by constantly “finding people’s ruins” and convincing them of their failings and imperfections all the way up the line. In all likelihood, there is not as much wrong with you as you might have been led to believe and you are pretty much fine just as you are.