Post Game #2 – Catherine
I’m sorry that the Church saw fit to drag my ex-wife, Catherine Fraser, into this and put her into the spotlight on national TV. It can’t have been a pleasant experience for her.
Anderson Cooper asked me about Catherine. I told him that she was a wonderful woman with a heart of gold. I would never say anything against Cathy. I’ve posted the story of our unlikely courtship and marriage at the Int Base in my autobiographical book, Counterfeit Dreams.
That we have ended up on opposite sides of this is unfortunate. She feels she has to defend the Church at all costs – well, as I told Anderson, I would have done the same when I was still in the Sea Org. I would have lied.
It occurred to me how different our experiences in New York must have been. I’m sure she had to attend intense meetings with Miscavige before she left the Base. I’m sure she was briefed and drilled and coached endlessly. I’m sure that they arrived in New York with minimal sleep and maximum pressure. I imagine that they had to field frequent calls from Miscavige. And I’m sure Jenny Linson was running their little “Mission” with an iron fist. And I’m sure as soon as their interview was over, they had to take an explosive conference call from Miscavige and get on the next flight back.
I didn’t have any briefings. I had no one to report to, no calls, no pressure. I spent a few hours before the interview just being a tourist in midtown Manhattan. After the interview, I went to dinner with Marty and Mosey at a local deli. We hadn’t seen each other in years and had some catching up to do. I didn’t have to report in to anyone. I didn’t have anyone judging my performance or threatening ethics if I didn’t say the right things. I didn’t have to prepare or practice or drill – I just told my story, straight up.
Cathy knew what was expected of her. She was part of Miscavige’s “Ex Wives” strategy. Her job was to act as a character witness against me, to invalidate anything I said. And she tried to be a good soldier and do just that. But Anderson threw her a curveball. He told her what I’d said about her – that she had a heart of gold and she had stood by me through tough times. Cathy tried to object, saying that there were no hard times, that it was the “best time of his life.”
Well, sure, when I was with Cathy, in the few minutes each day we had to spend together, it was wonderful. But otherwise, life was a living nightmare – threats, beatings, punishments, sleep deprivation. While I was married to Cathy, I was offloaded from the Base four times. We never spent a Christmas together in our five years of marriage. We never even had a day off together. Each time I was forced to leave, Cathy was pressured to divorce me. She didn’t.
I never told Cathy about the beatings Miscavige gave me. I didn’t want to drag her into it. But she was well aware of the poisonous atmosphere at the Base, the way people threatened each other, screamed at each other, punished each other. She herself was slapped by a female executive. Cathy wanted to change things. That’s why she became Port Captain. Because the post of Chaplain is under the Port Captain. She wanted to act as a buffer against the hardness and abuse. That’s why I say she has a heart of gold.
This experience can’t have been easy for her. It doesn’t matter to me that she speaks out against me. I don’t care. I know why she is doing it. I don’t hold it against her, and I know it was a very, very unpleasant experience for her to have to go through.
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Leaving Scientology 
I worked closely with Jeff during our last years in the SO working on the marketing of the books and lectures releases starting the with Classics and moving through the Basics, etc. I was witness to the abuse heaped on Jeff by DM and others and even (full disclosure) was basically forced to pull him aside one time and give him a roasting (which I think had zero effect on him because we were so mutually out ruds in the first place). I want anyone reading Jeff’s post to know that the affinity he expresses towards Cathy in his memoir and in his statement to Anderson about Cathy and in his post tonight I witnessed many, many times. He was really, really fond of her and she of him and even today it still pulls on my own cynical, J&D heart to think of how that prick David Miscavige destroyed their relationship. The apparent ARC Break evidenced by Cathy tonight is sitting on a lot of prior ARC. Everyone who worked with Jeff saw it. The fact that Jeff is still capable of expressing affinity in this situation is testimony to the kind of integrity he has.
As long as I’m telling tales out of school, I must add that in the summer of 2002 DM had all the main production terminals on the base IQ tested. He said that he wanted to know what he was actually dealing with. Not the standard Scn IQ test that anyone can score 150 + on, but an actual IQ test. Jeff scored either the highest or second highest of everyone tested.
A bunch of us were in a meeting with DM one day and he was talking about these tests and he said, “Do you know who scored the highest on the entire base? Jenny De Vocht.” Jenny was there and her reaction told me plainly that DM was lying his ass off. We all could read it right on Jenny’s face and knew DM was full of shit.
Now, back to my main reason for commenting:
Great job tonight, Jeff.
Dan
What was DM’s IQ Dan?
I wa really moved by your story, jeff. And, I am sorry to tell it, but your attitude is very much what we should expect of a scientologist :-), and fits the definition of a scientologist, somebody who is improving conditions.
Thank you very much, Sir.
Or just a human being.
I love that, Man! Hats off!
… a truly admirable, fully-realized, human being, in the sense of “What is Greatness,” but also in the sense of the word “mensch.” No religion has a monopoly on this concept.
It’s called taking the high road. Or not allowing your ARC to be alloyed. Maybe it’s what is referred to as “turning the other cheek.” My uncertainty on that probably comes from lack of practice…
I have deleted two full paragraphs that I wrote about the interview with ex-wives. It took me that long for you words to fully sink in and for me to be able to ignore the betrayal and the full-blown abandonment of their own integrity that I witnessed on the show last night. Frankly, I still feel a little “To hell with them. ”
Unlike you, I am not buoyed by my affinity for any one of those “ladies” and feel only contempt for what they have done in the name of “scientology.” Too bad “circumstances” have dictated that they make a mockery of the very philosophy they seem to think they are protecting. Too bad they’re not free to actually practice scientology anymore. Too bad they’re not aware of either of those things, because it’s pretty obvious to the rest of us, scientologists or not.
I’d like to try to interpret here what Jeff said.
I might be wrong. So be it.
I realized that I’ve had two entities at play “I’m human” vs. “I’m a Scientologist”.
So far, what Desperate Ex-Wives, TD and Norman Starkey displayed was entity “I’m a Scientologist” (with everything that it entails).
Jeff somehow got the entity (and way of self-identification) which is “I’m a Scientologist” turned off.
He is the one beng – he is “I’m just another human being”. No self-importance attached.
And he speaks his mind. Beautiful and Clever mind! Without any scientology’s principles int the background.
I want to detach that other entity as well, and also – find a method of how to turn that off in other devotees.
Vadim Dolgov
Vadim, don’t put too much spin on my words. What I believe is that any religion – Christian, Buddhist, Scientologist – has people in it who live their principles and people who do not. And I think it is obvious to those outside the religion who is who. Personally I don’t like to be labeled. I don’t mind if someone says that they are a Scientologist – good for them. But then I would expect them to follow the principles they espouse.
Jeff,
Sorry to possibly having offended your views.
Thanks anyway for having posted my comment!
Didn’t mean to get into “Jeff’s phenomena”. Just had some self-realizations and stretched my thoughts onto “how it came to him”.
I had my life experience of having been brought up on and fed with ideas of communism. That’s what I was looking forward to in the world around me (up to the age of 16).
It’s AFTER that I saw how silly I was, and how utopic the ideas were. It’s YOU – people who were never involved – would say it HAS ALWAYS BEEN STUPID stupid, brainwashing and mind-boggling. I had different view then. If we had met then I would have challenged you.
So I DO have my comparative observations of that with being a scientologist (whom I became later having dropped beliefs in communism completely).
Now I have fully grasped both. I’m just human – with no other significances attached. And – I have had enough of my share to NOT become devotee of any seductive system of beliefs.
That’s what I’ve learned from being involved by now.
Jeff…I thought you might respond to her statements. As she was responding (fibbing) up there in that cold atmosphere of the ex-wives cabal, I could feel a wave of disappointment and, yes sadness, that might possibly have washed over you. I say this because what Anderson relayed to Catherine was pure and genuine kindness from you to her, saying she had a heart of gold. To have her come back with such an obvious and hardened response, you could tell she needed to be so harsh so as not to allow her real feelings about your past love for one another surface. I remember reading in Counterfeit Dreams about the silly things you two had to do in order to steal precious moments together and eventually get married. (Highly recommended reading to anyone in a coming out of doubt, data-gathering mode reading this blog, http://counterfeitdreams.blogspot.com/)
You speak and write from your heart, man. My hope and prayer is that one day you and Catherine will sit down, together alone, say hello, clear the air and at least be friends again. What a heart-wrencher…..
Thank you Jeff for everything you do with such honesty. The contrast to what is coming through from DM’s camp is incredible.
“My hope and prayer is that one day you and Catherine will sit down, together alone, say hello, clear the air and at least be friends again. ”
I hope it will happen later … of better SOONER.
Two thumbs up, Jeff!
Jeff,
You’re a class act.
This all has a happy ending…….
classy indeed
good on you Jeff
I am so sorry too.
It is unbelievable what Miscavige has done to all of those women.
He has revealed himself as a brutal “PIMP” who has no compunction about parading his “whores” out on National TV as though to say “Look what I can do to those you love! Just try and stop me!”
There is not a Hell hot enough or cold enough or dark enough for him….
I don’t know how to thank you enough for standing up and speaking out, but I thank you.
There will be an end to him, thanks to you and the others.
The worst of all seems to be that the best Scientologists are the ones outside of the church these days. Again, it is so interesting how such a philosophy with such great goals and so tender words can be applied in such a bad way and create an organization totally opposite to what it’s supposed to be… really interesting.
I laughed my ass of when Starkey said about Rathbun that “He will never, ever be a Scientologist again.” Well Starkey, unfortunately it’s not up to you to decide who’s a Scientologist or not. Anybody who applies Scientology and considers himself to be a Scientologist IS a Scientologist. Being a member of the church or not has NOTHING to do with if you’re a Scientologist or not.
Excellent, Jeff! You gave very articulate, to-the-point answers in your interview… With only a brief amount of time, you illustrated perfectly why nobody at Int would dare speak out against DM.
I admire your ability to stay classy, too, regarding your ex. Certainly, being able to see from another person’s shoes benefits one’s sanity and ability to reason.
Honestly Jeff, I think you’re a more effective “Island of sanity” than any “Ideal Org” on the planet! Hahaha, I know that isn’t saying much…but you get my drift.
I hope AC interviews you more in this series!
-Greg
Jeff, you are full of grace and that is a most wonderful thing. I pray that your comments were heard by Cathy and thought over.
Thanks.
I honestly believe that Cathy did “hear” those kind comments that Anderson passed on to her. Hopefully she is still thinking about them today.
You are a remarkable man, Jeff. A huge, huge hug to you.
Those comments, relayed by Anderson, were probably some of the nicest things she’s heard in years. Undoubtedly, she is still thinking of them.
Oh Man !
Jeff ~~ I feel for you~~
I feel I know you. I lived through the words and images you painted in Counterfeit Dreams.
http://counterfeitdreams.blogspot.com/
This much I do know:
~~~You worked for the Church for 35 years
~~ You gave 35years of your life to marketing Dianetics and other marketing campaigns, the best the Church ever had.
~~~You earned a pittance for these important years of your life.
~~~You lived through sleep deprivation, offloads, punishments for deadlines, bad food, life in smelly dorms when not married, rice and beans for meals in penalty phases.
~~~You endured humiliating acts from “COB” David Miscavigewho operates ONLY with enforcement and domination and brutality.
~~~You endured assault and battery and every effort to split up a relationship with Catherine.
@@@@You then because you could not take the brutality anymore walked out (like Marty, Mike, Steve, Amy and all the others) with virtually nothing. No 401 K, no savings, no credit history ~~ a ridiculous $500.
@@@@As a reward for 35 years of service, Miscavige puts Catherine on National TV to say it was the “Best times of your life”. Yeah, right, that’s why you got the hell out of there.
I consider Miscavige a Dark Heart with an Iron Hand.
He is being tried in the Court of Public Opinion and may well be “Villain of the Week” in the USA, like OJ, his name and deeds make him despised as more is exposed.
Thank you Jeff for being a voice of reason. You blog Counterfeit Dreams brought such perspective to the course of events within the Church. I believe that your IQ WAS the highest because your marketing campaign was genius combined with persistence and application of the comm cycle and ARC. That in a nutshell was what SCN was about for me and thousands of others who really wanted to use it to make the world a better place.
To watch it unravel in your blog, becoming a religion of threat, intimidation and cruelty mirrored the gradual unraveling of SCN in my own life and the lives of those around me over two decades.
I don’t have to imagine how it feels to loose your spouse, family and friends. It happened to me. And I did whatever was asked of me to regain their love and approval regardless of the effects on my soul. So I can realistically imagine how if feels for you, Tom, Marty and Mike to see their former beloveds speaking through the Mask of Miscavige on international television.
I am filled with gratitude that you left, reinvented your life and then came back from a heart of compassion to help others in similar straits wake up, walk away and rebuild after the hijacking of heart, mind and soul that became SCN. Your story is a parable in the tradition of Chaucer and Dante.
I need to comment about Jenny Linson. I know the family she came from. Jenny’s mother is a beautiful soul and Jenny was raised with great love and compassion. She is a hardened example of what a person can become within the darker realms of SCN. There is a heart in that Harpy that will one day pierce her armor and when it does, God have mercy on her soul.
You should report to the police, and others who has experienced or witnessed various abuses should do the same, evidence will be amassed and sooner or later the prosecutor will have a case! Have you thought about it?
Jeff,
I too have read your Counterfeit Dreams book online. Like other readers, I know the depth of love and loyalty you and Catherine shared.
Last night when I saw the AC360 program and Catherine’s sharp reaction I thought, as Mickey says above, “Yes, there’s a woman who once loved Jeff very much.”
Anyone who has loved and lost, was once married and then divorced — even without the nearly unimaginable pressures Catherine is now experiencing — knows the forever-changing perspectives that cause that love and loyalty to disappear from view.
The longer we live and the wiser we become, it becomes clear that all the love we once shared does not disappear. We may choose to remember it differently, to avoid the pain of its loss. But in the end, we will rediscover all the love we once created and treasure it for the great gift that it is.
Jeff, I wish for you great joy and more — much more — love.
Just Me
Very classy post Jeff.
I’m thinking of “What is Greatness” right now. You have greatness in you in my view.
Watching it live, when she spoke it was almost a physical blow as I felt the violation of so many fundamentals of proper human conduct. The duress she must have been under to do something horrible like that is hard to even imagine, but of course it must be there.
Thanks for posting on it. You’ve done her a great favor by explaining. And helped us all keep our “What is Greatness” in. I missed the expression on Anderson’s face – it must be similar to when Jenny the freak show called him rude the day before.
And the other wives – what painful human wreckage…
In several states an individual who causes the break up of a marriage between two other people can be sued in court for damages by the ex spouse. If a woman enters into an adulterous affair, for example, with the husband of another woman, she can be sued by the wife (ex-wife) for alienation of affection.
Add to the list of dm’s crimes the many marriages he has third-partied or otherwise stressed into non-existence. That little twerp is fast becoming the biggest (little) criminal of the century.
Jefferson,
I know why you are blowing the whistle. I like to think that when others are exposed to you telling the truth and realize it, they’ll become more whole, more comlete.
Many people besides Hubbardites and EXs saw the program. It made the world a bit better because they can relate in some way.
I think you’re a good man, Hawks.
Rob Williamson
Jeff,
I know only too well the strains DM and his culture put on relationships. As you’ve mentioned, you took a viewpoint and a course that decency, compassion and sincere love that is the nature of men and woman, would choose, regardless of a particular dogma, doctrine or datum.
Sincerely, and with the knowledge you have of my own circumstance with my own relationship trampled, twisted and attempted to be alloyed with the sour soul of this tiny man, my hand reaches out to touch you gently and thank you for your love despite all provocation otherwise.
You are a beautiful soul and if I was harsh in my words of Catherine on Marty’s blog, I take them back. I truly feel for all of the people left trapped in the hellish nightmare of wanting to do the right thing for all of mankind with the utter inability to do so.
You did a great job on CNN, Jeff. And a great posting above that shows the humanity powering your 35-year career in the Sea Org.
This beautiful post brought tears to my eyes. Well done, and excellent job on AC360. I hope that in the end the truth will out.
Dear Jeff,
You are a man of deep compassion, one who holds his heart in his hand offering it up to those who would reach out to you…and to those who can’t. I know what it took for you to confront standing up for what you believe is true, never faltering, speaking out, not only for yourself, but for all the others that can not or would not. I know the depth of your love for Catherine. It’s one of the great love stories that has found it’s way out of the horrors of the situations at hand.
And I know that Catherine knew what you were communicating to her. I saw it in her face. I thought it was a brilliant move on Anderson’s part to impart your words to her. She was obviously moved. And I know, as a woman, that your words cut deep through the morass of bull. Catherine, without a doubt, will consider long and hard on your message.
I truly believe that you and Catherine will soon be sitting across from each other, saying all the things that neither of you have been able to express for so long…
Sher
Another awesome job – Jeff, Marty, Tom, Amy, Steve, & Mike!
I don’t think Cathy was prepared to receive the affinity and was caught like a deer in the headlights. She doesn’t appear to believe her impromptu PR line that it was the best time in Jeff’s life either!
Jeff,
Sorry for taking so long to post, here but I’ve been working on my writing.
However, I’ll just say having briefly met you in person way back when that you were and still are an inspirational individual.
You did all of us who do not have a voice right now proud.
Thanks,
RJ
Jeff,
Thanks for exemplary demonstration of the Code of Honor.
Thanks for being there.
Thanks for letting the sunshine in.
This song “Here Comes the Sun” expresses my joy much better than what I could with words
Jeff,
Graceful as ever. Everyone’s posts have so eloquently expressed their admiration for your compassion and willingness to love despite all — that all I can say is, “yeah, what they said.”
You quiet the turbulence and continue to be an inspiration. Thank you.
— craig
Dear Jeff,
Wow. I was looking at the wives and thinking to myself, “they are answering too quick, this is rehearsed”. I could hear the stress in all their voices, and dare I say a hint of fear. I felt very badly for them, talking about an ex is hard. Doing it on national tv, under the authority of a guy who relishes in hurting people must have been scarey.
I would like to say I am impressed by your empathy and understanding for Catherine’s situation. Your frankness is eye-opening. This gives me something to pray about, for all the ex’s freedom and safety.
Way to go man, you did the right thing.
Dear Jeff,
I am so happy to know you and have you as a friend. You are an inspiration and your down to earth attitude is so real and refreshing!
You are a Master Communicator – everything you write and say is a diamond in its purity and clarity.
I send you a big hug and my thanks for all you do,
Mary Jo
PS- When is the book being published? I want my copy!
Jeff, this moved me to tears. I truly admire you for being able to see what’s really going on and for pushing away any inclination to become a victim of the savagery. You set the best possible example a human can set. I wanna be like you when I grow up.
Ellie
I was getting lonely, down there with the bitterness and pissed-offedness, so I decided to join all you much better people up here on the high road. Because even though I had my own personal response to what I saw last night, I also recognize the truth and the wisdom of what you’re saying here, Jeff. Your viewpoint is beautiful and life-affirming, and will ultimately lead to a resurgence of theta in the area. Anybody who dares set themselves up as superior to you in any way due to their ideology or religious affiliation truly has a very long way to go to enlightenment.
Hey, it’s really pretty up here, on the high road. I had no idea you could see so far!
love
lunamoth
Funny how some people put too much significance into something so simple as love and forgiveness. When you love and care about someone, it’s easy to convey good tidings. Even when roles change, divorces happen, life goes on, there is an essential core affection and concern.
The one thing she could take home with her as she went back to the insanity is a pleasant reminder of someone she once cared very much about, who never stopped caring about her welfare.
So, I really have to hand it to you, Jeff, you really have taken the high road on this. Catherine has had plenty of experience as the PR contact for Gold, doing what is expected to represent the game and she did a good job of getting those TRs back in and that barb out after your comment was relayed to her.
Never the less, one could see the momentary jolt go through her as your untainted love, care and forgiveness of and for her as a person – as an important part of her past – came her way so unexpectantly. I suspect alot of the propaganda she had been indoctrinated about on you could not stand up to what really happened at the show.
I too was very moved by reading Counterfeit Dreams. Especially poignant was your account of your relationship with your wife – and for that reason, I was particularly curious to see what she is “like.” Of all of the exes, I felt she emoted the most humanity – and perhaps it was imaginative wishful thinking, but I really thought I saw a flicker of pleasure when Anderson relayed what you had said about her. The recovery was interesting: ie, your “best” years were those at the Int Base. I read that as a backhanded way of her saying her best years there were when you were still there. If so, then it is both sad and hopeful – in the midst of the nightmare she must be living in, her heart still has something to say.
Jeff,
Thank you for this. Thanks for all you’re doing. Thank you for being there and communicating truth.
Last nights display by the gal-pals was a tough look. This morning Thoughtful helped get me fired back up. And now you’ve evened the keel.
This journey is quite the ride and I must say your steady-as-she-goes gyroscope is much appreciated.
What an awesome community!
Dear Jeff,
Thank you for exposing the truth with honesty. You were so sincere and real in every interview on CNN for the past couple of nights.
You are right about Cathy. She is under pressure, just like most of us when we were inside.
There will be a day, in a very very near future, that you and Cathy will embrace one another and spend some beautiful moments with each other out side the suppression of little Davey. I am sure she is counting seconds to see you!
You are definitely an great example of honest, passionate and loving human being.
Thank you for being YOU!
Much Love!
What an incredible group of people! I’m so happy that I have allowed myself to start looking at the internet about 9 months ago. I feel so privileged to witness & be part of all these beautiful exchanges.
Jeff I have so much admiration for you. Your story was a big factor in giving me the strength to confront what I had been trying to hide from myself. The Scientology I was experiencing & observing around me was not the Scientology I had fallen in loved with.
I just found out that your the Editor of this site. What an incredible contribution! After reading your story, I felt I couldn’t thank you enough for all your contributions & dedication in helping forward the aims of Scientology. The fact that you had been treated so badly after all you had done made me sick to my stomach & I decided at that moment that I could not in good conscience continue supporting a group that treated there members in such a way.
You are such an inspiration. Despite all that has happened here you are still sharing your creativity, your love & decency for others by creating this great forum that helps us heal ourselves & others. I’ve always like this site althought I haven’t kept up with it as much as I would have liked to. I’ll make a point to come visit more often 🙂
A million thanks to you & a big hug!
You are a very gracious man. You always were and shall continue to be.
Jeff, I trembled when I read your love story in Counterfeit Dreams and I sat on the edge of my chair when seeing you and Cathy with Mr. Anderson. What a mountain of a man you are -and with Cathy, there happened more than met the eye.
With deep respect, Fidelio.
Very well put, you came off cool calm and collected. I like the many references to Taking The High Road, I see a new catch phrase for our group coming. Good job Jefferson!
Jeff, you didn’t just take the high road, you took the high planet.
Thank you for being an example of how to be cool.
Love is the answer.
Dear Jeff,
After watching you on cnn, I read this article and I come to realize what a great person you are.
You deserve all the best for your life.
Paolo
Jeff: I hope you’ll come out for the PDX protests again. I still haven’t gotten to meet you yet. (Yep, it’s all about me me me!! LOL.)