How to avoid being declared by the Church of Miscavology
1. Try not to notice policy and tech alterations or violations, If you should notice them, try not to think about them.
2. If you’re told to redo a course or a level, or get more Sec Checking, at your own expense, just do it. Don’t ask questions, and never object.
3. If you’re told to buy new editions of books or lectures you already own, and trash your old copies, don’t ask questions. In particular, don’t ask why LRH’s words are being changed.
4. Never, never ask for an LRH reference that justifies what you are being told to do.
5. Don’t write Knowledge Reports. If you must write a KR, write it on another field Scientologist or a lower-level staff member. Never, never write a KR on a senior executive or David Miscavige.
6. Never question or challenge David Miscavige. If you are told something is an order from Miscavige, just smile nervously and mutter “brilliant…brilliant.”
7. Show up for all the events without fail. Smile and clap at the appropriate points.
8. Believe everything you are told at events and in Scientology magazines. Never question the “expansion statistics” they give and never, never independently fact-check anything you are told.
9. If the Church tells you to buy something, buy it.
10. If the Church asks you for money, give it to them.
11. If the Church tells you to disconnect from someone, disconnect, even if it’s your spouse, your parents, or your children.
12. If your underage children are recruited into the Sea Org behind your back, never make any objection or complain about it. Just smile and nod as you say goodbye to your child.
13. Don’t ask questions like these.
14. Avoid internet searches wherever possible. If you have to search on the internet, make sure you never, never go on any site the Church doesn’t want you to. Like this one.
15. If the Church tells you not to read something, don’t read it.
16. Always answer the door if Church staff come to see you, no matter the time of day or night. Invite them in, listen to them, and give them whatever they ask for.
17. Always answer the phone if the Org calls. Listen to them and do whatever they say.
18. If you are called in to the Org, go immediately. Put everything else on hold.
19. If a friend leaves the Church, disconnect from them immediately. Be very careful never to ask them why or listen to their story. Ideally, clamp your hands over your ears and go “na-na-na-na-na! I can’t hear you!”
20. If someone tries to tell you about staff abuse, policy violations, tech alterations, crimes or anything else the Church doesn’t want you to hear, just get up and run out of the room, like Tommy Davis did on ABC’s Nightline.
21. Donate every cent you can to the IAS and Ideal Orgs. Go deeply into debt.
22. Do what you are told.
23. Read what you are told.
24. Go where you are told.
25. Think what you are told.
If you do all these things, try to blend in, keep a low profile, and avoid eye-contact, maybe, just maybe, you can avoid being declared by the Church of Miscavology.