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How to avoid being declared by the Church of Miscavology

January 8, 2010

1.  Try not to notice policy and tech alterations or violations, If you should notice them, try not to think about them.

2.  If you’re told to redo a course or a level, or get more Sec Checking, at your own expense, just do it. Don’t ask questions, and never object.

3.  If you’re told to buy new editions of books or lectures you already own, and trash your old copies, don’t ask questions. In particular, don’t ask why LRH’s words are being changed.

4.  Never, never ask for an LRH reference that justifies what you are being told to do.

5.  Don’t write Knowledge Reports. If you must write a KR, write it on another  field Scientologist or a lower-level staff member. Never, never write a KR on a senior executive or David Miscavige.

6.  Never question or challenge David Miscavige. If you are told something is an order from Miscavige, just smile nervously and mutter “brilliant…brilliant.”

7.  Show up for all the events without fail. Smile and clap at the appropriate points.

8.  Believe everything you are told at events and in Scientology magazines. Never question the “expansion statistics” they give and never, never independently fact-check anything you are told.

9.  If the Church tells you to buy something, buy it.

10.  If the Church asks you for money, give it to them.

11.  If the Church tells you to disconnect from someone, disconnect, even if it’s your spouse, your parents, or your children.

12.  If your underage children are recruited into the Sea Org behind your back, never make any objection or complain about it. Just smile and nod as you say goodbye to your child.

13.  Don’t ask questions like these.

14.  Avoid internet searches wherever possible. If you have to search on the internet, make sure you never, never go on any site the Church doesn’t want you to.  Like this one.

15.  If the Church tells you not to read something, don’t read it.

16.  Always answer the door if Church staff come to see you, no matter the time of day or night. Invite them in, listen to them, and give them whatever they ask for.

17.  Always answer the phone if the Org calls. Listen to them and do whatever they say.

18.  If you are called in to the Org, go immediately. Put everything else on hold.

19.  If a friend leaves the Church, disconnect from them immediately. Be very careful never to ask them why or listen to their story. Ideally, clamp your hands over your ears and go “na-na-na-na-na! I can’t hear you!”

20.  If someone tries to tell you about staff abuse, policy violations, tech alterations, crimes or anything else the Church doesn’t want you to hear, just get up and run out of the room, like Tommy Davis did on ABC’s Nightline.

21.  Donate every cent you can to the IAS and Ideal Orgs. Go deeply into debt.

22.  Do what you are told.

23.  Read what you are told.

24.  Go where you are told.

25.  Think what you are told.

If you do all these things, try to blend in, keep a low profile, and avoid eye-contact, maybe, just maybe, you can avoid being declared by the Church of Miscavology.

  1. JeanPaul permalink
    January 8, 2010 1:54 am

    This is completely bull pucky. There is no way they will declare you for eye contact.

    • fishdaddy permalink*
      January 8, 2010 4:27 am

      Interestingly enough, at the Int Base, Miscavige was obsessed with the expressions on people’s faces and the way they looked at him. He’d point at someone and say “Look at how he looks at me! Look at how he looks at me!” Orwell called it “facecrime.”

  2. January 8, 2010 2:21 am


    Rebel ya hit another home run!!!!

    I must say I’ve been guilty of violating every one, especially point 5 while keeping Scientology axiom 10 in mind 😉

    Being personally ordered by David Miscavige himself to be roll backed and put on the “Truth” Rundown is one of my many accomplishments 🙂

    What Ron says in the PAB Open Channels doesn’t seem to apply in Miscavige’s Cult of Personality these days.

    Back in the old days I used to even question the Ol’man himself. He used to send me a reference that I might not have read or maybe even some friendly chiding or cajoling. In fact he even removed all the stops off my lines so that I could do the SHSBC.

    Things you can’t do now on Dave’s turf.

    Write a KR on the Lil’ guy and you end up having your ass dragged out of the the course room by a Dave’s Gestapo and interrogated by a “Special Project”, that is if it’s too inconvenient to declare and expel you outright.

    So much for Dave’s Bridge to Total Serfdom.

  3. John Doe Lurker permalink
    January 8, 2010 3:14 am

    7A. At events, give everyone a standing ovation, even if this dilutes the gesture to absurdity.

  4. January 8, 2010 3:58 am

    You could have posted a drink alert.

    I snorted coffee all over my keyboard!

    The expression on the little guy in the illustration is priceless!

  5. TRUTH permalink
    January 8, 2010 4:29 am

    Rebel008, you nailed it again! Thank you so much!
    Every single point you mentioned applies to those Miscavologists who are being “good guys” so they won’t lose their “eternity” and “Bridge”.

  6. Mary Jo permalink
    January 8, 2010 4:34 am

    Another classic, Rebel008!
    That even looks like DM’s hand!
    This is so spot on, so on the mark…. funny and scary as hell!

  7. UnDisturbed permalink
    January 8, 2010 4:47 am

    I recall reading years ago a book ‘The Gulag Archipelago” by the great dissident Russian writer Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. He describes how at Communist meetings would be ended with rounds of applause for the current Russian leader, I believe Joe Stalin at that time. Everyone would stand and clap, however nobody wanted to be the first to stop clapping for fear that they would be singled out as a dissident Communist. So the clapping would go on for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, even 15 minutes long!

    That always struck me as the ultimate in fear and paranoia. Sadly I’m not sure how far from that we are with the current Church of Scn.

  8. Ex-RPFer permalink
    January 8, 2010 5:55 am

    Ha ha ha ha ha .. . .! Seriously I still haven’t stopped laughing. I think you may have my house bugged though. This is almost word for word a conversation that I had a few weeks ago. Eerie.

    I am pretty sure I am the opposite of all of these bullet points. But they are helpful for those still in.
    Perhaps they should be posted in the HGC and Academy for all to read daily before study begins!

    I stopped standing at events years ago. Then I stopped going because I didn’t want people to ask why I wasn’t clapping like a madman every time someone moved on the stage or paused in their speech. Or clapping for statistics that don’t even exist. Or clapping when Int Management or some senior organization would take credit for something that me or my org did. That was really my favorite. How do you clap for that?

  9. January 8, 2010 6:14 am

    Another spectacular article pitting common sense against utter insanity. Chalk up another one for common sense. Go Rebel008!

  10. mina bobi permalink
    January 8, 2010 6:16 am

    yes this is true, i have a very good friend that was send to ethics twice for asking LRH references in the courseroom (sandcastle), she was crying when she told me this.
    also this friend told me that to her husband who was with LRH at the Apollo and attested Clear UNDER LRH C/S was forced to do CCRD in order to attest OT7 at Flag !!!!!!! so LRH did not know the CLEAR EP?????

  11. Barney Rubble permalink
    January 8, 2010 8:01 am

    Unbelievable, right at this moment my wife has for the past several weeks has a “KR” on DM and otherRTC execs, we are going through a “AVC I/A ” prelim process on this with certain terminals. This blog has us certainly feeling this proces out very carefully.


    • lunamoth permalink
      January 8, 2010 3:58 pm

      Sorry, Barney Rubble, but could you please explain “AVC I/A”? Thanks.

      • Jim Logan permalink
        January 8, 2010 6:51 pm

        Authorization, Verification and Correction, Issue Authority. It’s a unit, AVC, at RTC level now, that authorizes, verifies and corrects, and with this all OK, then authority to issue (I.A.) may be granted to, any issue, evaluation, program and such.

        It’s a ‘final approval’ sort of thing and it means that the KR is going through the ringer to ensure it’s as effective as possible.

  12. Scarlet Pumpernickel permalink
    January 8, 2010 3:00 pm

    Beautifully put yet again, Rebel 008! I particularly appreciated #6, having been guilty of doing this many times. Fear can be a powerful motivator — but that tiny inkling of self-worth I still maintained was strong enough to overcome that fear. And as to the “facecrime”, it trickled down over the years because an RTC terminal at Flag did exactly the same thing to me: “Why are you looking at me like that? Look at how you’re looking at me!” Talk about driving in anchor points. But it was the impetus I needed to leave, and I’ve never been happier.

    • Jim Logan permalink
      January 8, 2010 6:55 pm

      Yes of course, it’s ‘being there and communicating’, and it’s a fact; LRH himself said this is a crime, so of course, DM has made it official. I’m sure it’s going to be on the revised list of High Crimes one of these days. No, wait, it WON’T be, so then it’s completely arbitrary as is his proclivity. Now, it would seem, the proclivity of all Mestologists.

  13. lunamoth permalink
    January 8, 2010 5:46 pm

    rebel008: Beautiful. EXACTLY. Thank you.

    (After writing a few paragraphs of the response below I realized I was standing on a big old soap box. Oops. So let me say that I do not presume to “instruct” any of you who post here on the current scene, believe me. But I’m thinking of my own state of mind, back when I first started looking at what was going on and reading what I found here and on other sites,and I guess I’m addressing that reader, the current church member who is trying out new viewpoints, looking for The Why).

    When I was given George Orwell’s 1984 to read in jr. high school, I missed the possibility of totalitarianism entering my life through an entity other than a government. I see this same error being committed by other scientologists, as well. The same individuals who are vigilant against any government interference into their personal lives and who loudly protest any governmental encroachment on personal freedom, adhere to some degree, consciously or unconsciously, to the points you make above.

    It’s the worst example of totalitarianism I have ever personally experienced this lifetime, and it has been an immense life lesson, to say the least.

    Many of us apparently have not acknowledged to ourselves that we have allowed the management of the church of scientology to operate as an exalted form of government over all aspects of our lives, with powers senior to any we would tolerate if given to state and federal governments. In some cases, we have granted dm’s church limitless power over our futures as beings and over those of our children. The power we have ceded to the church and its abuse of that power have enabled it to grow into a monster over the past few decades, unrecognizable to many of us who happily, even enthusiastically, formed a union with the group many years ago.

    In it’s current incarnation and under dm’s control, church management has succeeding in becoming an omniscient, omnipotent, ubiquitous entity, its fingers pushing and groping deeply into our personal lives, our bank accounts, even our thoughts and opinions. It works single mindedly to strangle dissent and crush any opposition to its goals of increasing both its destructive power over the individual and its own material wealth. Sounds insane, but don’t discount it. Look.

    Looked at from an exterior viewpoint (and fence-sitting scientologists should try this, they’ll be surprised that its not necessarily the viewpoint of crazies or haters), the management of the church exercises completely undue influence and undeserved control over scientologists. We look to others like a bunch of brainwashed sheep, acting against our own best interests and factually against the best interests of a number of dynamics out of fear of falling out of step with the herd. Again, don’t’ discount it. Look.

    Face it, within the structure of the current church, our politics, our world view, our actions, our thoughts and emotions must inevitably come to be what dm deems acceptable. Can you (as a scientologist, still “in”) think of one area of life in which you feel completely free to express an opinion to fellow scientologists, say at an event or a business meeting, that is in direct opposition to the “approved” church viewpoint? Ever SAY out loud that you met a psychologist once who seemed like a very nice person and who was getting stats in the field of helping kids? Ever say there may be some sanity and humanitarian merit to the idea of universal health care? Ever ask the question, “If we get rid of the psychiatric industry completely, without evaluating who is providing a necessary service and who is abusive, who will handle the hardcore insane and severely mentally disabled among us?” Ever simply say to that reg that you DO have the money but don’t wish to spend it on what you are being sold? Or that you don’t have the money and simply will not borrow more money, and then walk away? Or that you’re tired to the bone of endless crush-regging? Or how is it correct, per policy or even just ethical, to be allowed/encouraged/ordered to buy one’s way out of an ethics condition?

    For a long time, we haven’t clearly seen the degree to which we’ve given over our freedom to think, act and feel; evil is the hardest thing to confront. Our own stupidity is a close second, I’d say.

    And while points 1-25 above may seem at first glance to have been taken to a ridiculous extreme in order to make a point, they are a bone-chillingly accurate description of the extreme to which those still inside scientology will have to go to remain “safe” from the current Purge. Unfortunately, under the 1984-style totalitarianism of miscaviges church, no personal safety for the individual is actually possible. At some point, even if you completely squash any dissent in yourself, any thought of disagreement, and never let anything that could be construed as objectionable show in your face or in your sec checks, you can still be found guilty of the crime of “being.”

    • Mary Jo permalink
      January 8, 2010 6:28 pm

      Bravo for expressing this so eloquently! You were describing my experience, 100%, as far as someone who had an aversion to totalitarianism and in particular social injustice as a child and then…ended up in the middle of the worst mess as far as those areas!

      Another thing that people on the fence need to confront is how the parishioners themselves are eating up the aberration and passing it on! When you have celebs doing videos saying that public have to donate for buildings and that everyone needs to join the crusade; you have FaceBook police and Razzline hatting on censorship…. it is really rotten from top to the very bottom.

      And anyone new would see something is off big time, with all this noise!

      It really is an abusive relationship syndrome– people are so afraid to leave, to speak out. There is a great definition of an “Unhappy person” in the Tech dictionary– “One whose acceptance levels are continually being violated”.
      Just ask yourself– are you happy? If you are, then all these injustices and human rights violations are acceptable to you. That is the simplicity of it.

      • lunamoth permalink
        January 8, 2010 7:18 pm

        Mary Jo,

        It is certainly a reality adjustment of magnitude, isn’t it, to realize that you have
        found yourself immersed in /co-creating such an effed-up mess, 180 degrees divergent from your own values and ideals?

        You are absolutely right, too, about your other observations! Replacing the use of LRH policy on donations and ideal orgs with cheerleading by ” celeb’s?” Really? You guys don’t even miss the LRH anymore? You’ll settle for that kind of condescending underestimation of your intellect?

        Regarding the facebook hatting on censorship being promoted on the Razzline:

        Reminded me of certain religious individuals using select quotes from the bible to make others wrong or to invalidate a viewpoint. Anyone who knows the bible, and anyone who knows enough policy, also knows that you can find quotes within both bodies of data to support or discredit any argument. What matters is your intention. If you intend to simply stop communication between others (censorship), you will of course find references that make that the “correct thing to do.” But you will necessarily have to leave out the references regarding the sanity of an individual being proportional to his ability to communicate, or that it is the unalienable right of every person to communicate, or that communication is the universal solvent, or that cutting comm or refusing to relay comm is a 1.1 trait …

        So any “hatting activity” put on by a group with the intention to get others to cut their own commlines is in fact nothing more than a propaganda campaign.

        Maybe dm can find a way to get people to pay for that, too.

    • rebel008 permalink*
      January 8, 2010 6:52 pm

      Very eloquently stated, lunamoth, and you have made some excellent points. It’s a good question for Scientologists – “Would you tolerate a government having as much control over your life as the Church does?”

    • Jim Logan permalink
      January 8, 2010 7:00 pm

      That soap-box statement is absolutely spot on and brilliant and I’m at a loss for words…

      I’m so freakin’ happy you are there, being, and communicating.

      • lunamoth permalink
        January 8, 2010 7:20 pm


    • January 9, 2010 10:11 am


      well said !

  14. Barney Rubble permalink
    January 8, 2010 6:02 pm


    AVC I/A, is a long position in Management that stands for Authorization Verification Compilation. I/A means issue authourity. Basically the person who approves issues and publications in the Church. Back on the Apollo it was an extremely high position on the Org Board.

    • Jim Logan permalink
      January 8, 2010 7:06 pm

      It’s ‘Correction’ not ‘Compilation’. Compilation is the last letter of RTRC, LRH Technical Research and Compilation. AVC used to be AVU, the Auth and Verification Unit. That unit still existed, at the Flag Bureaux level, in the early 90’s, with AVC being at the Int level and eventually under RTC. Today, as far as I know Sue Wilhere is over AVC Int, and is in RTC. She’s the one that wrote an affadivit that said ‘Miscavige IS Scientology’ and gave it to the St. Pete Times to refute Marty, Mike, Amy, Tom De, and others’ statements.

      • lunamoth permalink
        January 8, 2010 7:35 pm

        Got it, JL. Thanks.

    • lunamoth permalink
      January 8, 2010 7:27 pm

      Thank you, Barney Rubble. I’m getting quite an education here from you

  15. Barney Rubble permalink
    January 8, 2010 8:14 pm

    Right Jim, on the ” C” on AVC my bad. Thanks for the “Instruct”.

    Sue Wilhere saying Miscaviage IS Scientology, is a total foot in the mouth affadavit. And she is AVC INT- omg!

    • Jim Logan permalink
      January 8, 2010 9:04 pm

      Yep, Sue Wilhere, AVC Int, said that, in writing, in a sworn affadavit, and gave it to the press. OMG!

      The ‘instruct’ should have been to the Admin Dictionary, but AVC I isn’t in my copy. AVU is. This is from def 4: “4. the Authorization andVerification Unit is in Department 21
      (Source). All actions must have the unit’s authorization before they are taken.”

      • Jim Logan permalink
        January 8, 2010 9:09 pm

        As an aside, oh yeah, you are a trained Cram Off too! That’s CS Series 84, Flubless CSing for the rest of the guys here, “…1 error of any kind—instruct…”

        Hah! Nice to see we’ve retained our KRC!!

  16. Sinar permalink
    January 9, 2010 1:12 am

    Brilliant, as usual Rebel 08!

    One also has to do the above #1-25 in the Fear band, do not, do not allow yourself to slip at any instant into Serenity of beingness at any point!

    That would get you into big trouble!

  17. Underground For Now permalink
    January 9, 2010 1:40 am

    Rebel you are BAD to the bone.

    Priceless satire…

    You have made my day.

  18. SherryMK permalink
    January 9, 2010 8:49 am

    I obviously did not get the memo…

  19. Christie permalink
    January 9, 2010 8:38 pm

    Laughing out loud – thanks for the brilliant humor. 🙂

  20. Ben! permalink
    March 14, 2010 6:24 pm

    It’s sad but true. But over a year ago I found a very brilliant auditor at the FreeZone and the CoS can go right ahead to hell! Before I paid about € 360,00/hour now I pay € 60,00/hour.

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