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Well, It’s Official…

April 2, 2010
Colbert1

…David Miscavige has become a late-night talk show punch line.

Hilarious bit on the Colbert Report tonight. He showed clips of some of us talking about being beaten by Miscavige, then he said “And if he’s really angry, he forces them to watch Battlefield Earth.” He also compared the GOP to a cult, saying that anyone who speaks out against the party line is sacked and shunned. He said the GOP was like a cult, and that “anyone who disagrees with me should be viciously beaten by David Miscavige.”

Here’s the link.

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31 Comments
  1. Mat Pesch permalink
    April 2, 2010 7:33 am

    In my opinion it is not surprisingly that the strategy to hide and lie is not working out too well. The world is figuring out who the Dope of Scientology is. Below him are the Dupes.

    I wouldn’t be surprised to some day (not in the too distant future) find the word “miscavige” in slang dictionaries as an adjective used to describe a cowardly sociopath. I truely believe this.

    I invite the reader to use it in 10 sentences to get the feel of it.

  2. Otto permalink
    April 2, 2010 7:53 am

    I just want to thank you, when I readed your book/blog months ago that help me a lot to make my own decision about integrity.

    I know there have been hard times but those like you who stand and keep the position under enemy fire are very very valuable beings, thank you again!

  3. Linda permalink
    April 2, 2010 8:08 am

    That was better than I could have hoped.

    He had the audience laughing at the leader of scientology…A LOT

    I don’t know who Miscavige is beating up over this…but I would not want to be them.

  4. Notsaware permalink
    April 2, 2010 8:42 am

    Hilarious!! I remember being ordered to go see the movie over and over, It was just a bit too much! (I wondered if that wouldn’t classify as a stat push)

  5. 007 permalink
    April 2, 2010 8:52 am

    I’d love to be a fly on the wall when David Miscavige sees that video! I wonder if OSA is going to sheild it from him?

    It should be available for viewing on Colbert’s website tomorrow.

    http://www.colbertnation.com/home

    Thanks for all the fresh content Jeff!

    • whotenanny permalink
      April 3, 2010 1:24 am

      Oh MAN, would I pay money to see that.

      Seriously, here’s a fundraising idea; sell tickets to see DM lose his s**t when he sees that he’s been reduced to the level of jokes about the likes of Rod Blagojevich and that guy who wants to run for president so can impale people.

  6. Fidelio permalink
    April 2, 2010 10:39 am

    From the bottom of my heart, I am so glad for DM, he really deserves that type of PR…

  7. Scarlet Pumpernickel permalink
    April 2, 2010 11:51 am

    Stephen T. Colbert, you are my hero.

    • Just Me permalink
      April 2, 2010 11:12 pm

      And you, Scarlet Pumpernickel, you are one of my heroes. I wonder who you are. I loved your last post at Scientology-cult.com. More, more!

      Just Me

  8. lunamoth permalink
    April 2, 2010 2:42 pm

    He actually said they should be “viciously beaten” by david miscavige – don’t leave out one, delicious word!

    Dm, fearless leader, the “pope” of scientology, has been officially reduced to a pop culture caricature. Do you think that will make him mad?

    In his own way, Steven Colbert is more fearless than Anderson Cooper. Doing satire gives him a little more legal leeway, a wider, first-amendment shield, than reporting factual news stories. And I have a feeling this won’t be the last time dm is used a punch line on Colbert’s show. Love the poetic justice of that, dm becoming a “punch” line.

    Ah, God has a sense of humor.

  9. April 2, 2010 2:56 pm

    Too funny, lol. “These revelations have shocked the world, except the Catholic church, who are just grateful that it’s not about them” Here’s a link to the video.

    http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/268825/april-01-2010/elephant-graveyard—david-frum

  10. April 2, 2010 3:17 pm

    catching up on my reading ..

    glad you’re out of the closet REBEL

    we love you Jeff … your calm & easy manner has be a gift …

    all out love
    nate and mona

    http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/thu-april-1-2010-judith-shulevitz

    above in link to the episode you are talking about in this post …
    have an awesome chocolate bunny day …..

  11. April 2, 2010 4:26 pm

    This just proves that no matter where you go in society (even the supposedly great society of CoS) you need some kind of control system like Audit Reports or elections, otherwise people with power always seems to want more power.

    Even though I think LRH is some kind of a genius (not perfect though), he seemed to get power-struck as well toward the end of his life according to some testimonies.

    Was it LRH that said: “Life is a game of overwhelming others” ? It’s an interesting idea…

  12. Nomnom permalink
    April 2, 2010 5:10 pm

    Colbert is incredibly popular. And specially with the military.

    At this point DM is done.
    When he becomes talk show fodder and synonymous for beatings, his place in history is assured. He will never be seen as the person who held Scientology together after LRH. He will be recorded as a disturbed person who manipulated himself into power, a bully – and the one who perverted the good aspects of scientology. He is not revered or respected now and never will be.
    One could say that the pigeons have come home to roost, but methinks that they are really buzzards outside his window.

    • Kingair350 permalink
      April 2, 2010 11:53 pm

      My. God Nomnom, that was the most concise and eloquent epitaph I have ever read!

      Ive got nothing additional to add.

  13. April 2, 2010 8:24 pm

    God, the deep levels of brain-washing are really coming to light. While the whole world justifiably laughs, those in the tiny Cocoon Of Ignorance still believe they are the superior beings that will help mankind. Well, just LOOK at Norm Starkey. No, really…..LOOK at him. Obnose what’s ACTUALLY there. He’s a mess. He looks like he’s having a seizure. His TR’s are entirely absent. I don’t even think that HE was sitting there. What I saw was a very PTS robot, terrified of not being forcefull enough to keep himself out of the RPF. And what’s more, Marty left the SO. He wasn’t “removed” by DM, as Starkey insinuated. The only 1.1 I saw on Anderson Cooper was coming from the church. As for Stephen Colbert, love him or hate him, he is a HUGE phenomenon on this planet. He and Jon Stewart from the Daily Show have a massive audience. They are in total affluence. A LOT of people saw that clip and a LOT more will be sharing it with others on the net.

  14. Rebecca-Tribecca permalink
    April 2, 2010 9:03 pm

    Okay Matt, I’ll play~

    I’ll do 5 sentences for Colbert ~

    Even LRH loved satire (Mission Earth)

    1)
    Beware you do not get on an E-meter when Miscavige is looking in through Video Camera or he might declare you CLEAR before you walk down Fort Harrison avenue taking your clothes off….

    2)
    Miscagive asks his lawyer Monique Yingling “I have just spent millions on my new Hollywood private home ~~can we blame Tom DeVocht for ” wasting these millions at Flag “?

    3)
    SO member: I worked 100 hour weeks for 37 cents an hour on transcriptions and Miscavige is telling the audience I was born the wrong side of the gene pool.

    4)
    Only Miscavige can get his flock to BUY and BUY and BUY the same books over and over and over again due to Typist and Transcription errors…AMY….will I buy your book over and over due to typos ?

    5)
    One SO member to another “Let’s salute Miscavige’s dog and click our heels” ~~ he ‘s coming, we don’t want to be thrown in the feces pond again.

  15. lunamoth permalink
    April 2, 2010 10:03 pm

    I want to play!

    “The court-ordered evaluation determined that it was the years of abuse that had turned little tommy into the true miscavige he was today.”

    “I’m innocent!” he cried. “I didn’t commit those crimes! I’m no miscavige!”

    On the scale of human compassion, there was no value lower than miscavige.

    The bar was dirty and dark, filled with the dregs of humankind, everything from deviants to traitors to miscaviges.

    “Hitler was a political and military figure of the twentieth century, perhaps the most famous miscavige of modern times.”

    • lunamoth permalink
      April 3, 2010 3:23 am

      I just watched the last installment of the AC360 series, and while there’s plenty of other stuff to talk about, I just want to mention that each one of you guys who appeared on camera tonight – Jeff, Tom and Marty- you all came across as gentlemen. You’re the kind of guys a woman would feel comfortable having as a brother or a friend, and a guy could sit down and have a beer with. Whatever the other guys threw, however they bull-baited you, maligned you or tried to dramatize someone’s evil purposes on you, you kept your dignity, your civility and your kindness intact.

      It was so obvious that I think anybody would have to wonder, who the hell are those women talking about?

  16. brendon permalink
    April 3, 2010 1:22 am

    Scientology is now striking back — against Anderson Cooper! And somehow, Religious Freedom Watch even ended up with some of the affidavits against Rathbun and Rinder. Imagine that.

    http://www.religiousfreedomwatch.org/media-newsroom/details-anderson-cooper-neglected/

    • April 3, 2010 5:44 am

      He, He,

      Sorta like the Empire Strikes Back.

      With Miscavige as the evil emperor.

      Anyway I wouldn’t worry about RFW. The site has as much credibility as the yellow cake papers, probably less.

      Only retards read it which is why it’s at the top of Miscavige’s bookmarks.

  17. Loping Wolf permalink
    April 3, 2010 2:44 am

    The two elderly people were savagely miscaviged by a gang of hodlums.

  18. Loping Wolf permalink
    April 3, 2010 2:46 am

    Sorry, that’s hoodlums, folks. Hoodlums miscaviging people left and right.

  19. Marta permalink
    April 3, 2010 4:22 am

    Reb-Tri & lunamoth,

    Hoot, hoot, hoot!! I have to sharpen my comic skills and come back and play. Hee-Har!

  20. Heather permalink
    April 3, 2010 4:26 pm

    After the dog had finished with it, the toy was miscaviged beyond recognition.

    The defendant stands accused on two charges of aggravated miscavigery, Your Honour.

    The old man had a twinkle in his eye as he called out after the youth, “Better hurry, boy, or I’ll give your backside a thorough miscaviging!”

    The butcher seemed to take pleasure in demonstrating the tenderising techniques. “Take the mallet and miscavige the steak, like so!”

    • lunamoth permalink
      April 3, 2010 5:39 pm

      The use of Agent Orange by the U.S. military left the beautiful green forests of Viet Nam completely miscaviged.

      Cancer had thoroughly miscaviged the old man’s body.

      His haircut was so bad it looked like someone had miscaviged him with a week-wacker.

      In prison, the serial murderers, arsonists and rapists looked down on the child molesters and the miscaviges.

      She was filled with rage, and blinded by her hatred of him. “You – you- you MISCAVAGE!”

      The smell that filled the room told him that the dog had miscaviged on the rug again.

    • lunamoth permalink
      April 3, 2010 5:41 pm

      LOL!

  21. lunamoth permalink
    April 3, 2010 5:41 pm

    …that LOL was meant for you, Heather!

    • Heather permalink
      April 6, 2010 3:07 pm

      Lol right back at you lunamoth! I was laughing aloud at the miscavige on the rug, so you laughing at your own joke (as it seemed) was quite appropriate!

  22. Heather permalink
    April 6, 2010 3:11 pm

    The prostitutes visit the nearby medical clinic monthly to be checked for symptoms of gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes miscavigus.

    Too. Much. Fun.

    • whotenanny permalink
      April 6, 2010 5:12 pm

      …that last one sounds real …

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